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A Whole Lot of Good Stuff (Tidbits from the first 100)

March 31, 2010

Well, this is the 100th post since I decided to try this whole blogging thing.  It’s been fun, and I’ve had way more readers than I ever thought I would.  I was trying to come up with something really cool for my 100th post, but I’m not really close to finishing one right now.  Since it’s been almost a week since my last submission, I decided to do what they all do: a “best of”clip episode.  

I would want Joel to host

Before I get started, I would very much like to thank all my fans for their support and viewership and for making it feel like it’s been worth all the time I’ve put in to date.  (Almost 100,000 visits so far!  Small by internet standards, but plenty enough for me.)  Like I said before, the feedback has been more abundant than I thought.  (Most of it good, but I have certainly ruffled a few feathers along the way.  There’s a lot of critics out with keyboards)  To Mark, my first ever subscriber and frequent commenter, and all the others that have subscribed to and read my crazy thoughts, I thank you.  Maybe someday I’ll actually be able to make a little money off this. Hey, I can dream. 

How much I've made so far

Anyhoo, here are some of the pieces that my readers particularly enjoyed.  So far, my weird children’s books post has been by far my most read, followed by my recently posted costly clerical errors.  Out of the last 6 months of researching and writing, here are the favorites thus far.   


From the post: Bedtime stories gone awry (really weird children’s books)  

Who Cares About Disabled People?  


Price: $26.25 (WTF? It’s only 32 pages long!)  

This is part of a Who Cares…? series.  It basically is supposed to teach kids to love and care about everyone.  Another book in this series is Who Cares About Elderly People?  It was difficult to choose which wonderful life lesson to include here, as their titles are both equally head-scratching.  I chose disabled people mostly for the reason of who they decide to include as examples.  


So am I to believe that Kobe Bryant (athlete), David Hasselhoff (boozer), and Kevin Federline (fat kid) are all disabled?  OK, I’ll give you Hasselhoff and Federline, but not Kobe.   And what is the huffer in the this picture huffing?  It looks like a bag of bubble gum.   


From the post: You can’t firewall stupid (criminals caught via the internet)  

Crime: burglary   

Downfall: Facebook   

There are tens of thousands of home robberies in America every year, most of them done by criminals smarter than this next guy.  A 19-year-old broke into a house in Martinsburg, West Virginia.  While going through the house looking for valuables, he decided that this would be a good time to log into his Facebook account and update his status.   


That’s all fine and good.  It can’t be easy to be that calm while in the commission of a felony.  Anyhoo, the homeowners returned home later that night and discovered several items missing.  They called the police and, while waiting for them to arrive, went to the computer to let people know what happened.  When they saw the screen, it was still logged in to the man’s account.  Needless to say, it didn’t take the cops very long to figure out whodunit.  The man was arrested and convicted of grand theft and trespassing.  


From the post: All that money and too dead or in jail to spend it  

Jody Lee Taylor, Virginia ($4.4 million) OK, first of all, this poor guy’s life started out cursed thanks to his parents.  They obviously took the song “A Boy Named Sue” a little too seriously.  If I was named Jody, my life of crime would start by the mysterious death of whoever’s idea that was.  But I digress.  Jody was a career criminal before he won his lotto jackpot.  So having a nice nest egg and plenty of beer money would straighten out his life, right?  If you answered yes, I demand you immediately leave this site and go look up ‘naive’ in the dictionary.   

This is "naive" backwards

Get it? It's naive backwards

 Are you back?  OK.  So he wins the lottery and moves in to a house.  His fiance, who apparently decided that the money he now had made up for the many times he was arrested for beating her, moved in with him.  That didn’t last long.  3 years after winning, he shot up said house and set her car on fire.  It all came to a head when he smoked a bunch of crack, drank a lot of whiskey, and proceeded to drive the wrong way down the highway.  After a chase, he tried to run down a sheriff’s deputy.  Oh yeah, he was also naked.  


From the post: Where do I sign up? (Some of the craziest cult leaders you’ve probably never heard of)  

The Ant Hill Kids   

In 1977, a man named Roch Thériault started a commune in Quebec that the media dubbed “The Ant Hill Kids”.  This guy was especially bad.  He had as many as 40 people at his commune, 26 of the children.  True to cult leader form, all nine adult women in the compound were basically his sexual servants.  But Roch wasn’t the nicest guy in the world.   

Roch and Chuck Manson would get along just fine

Thériault, claiming to be the reincarnation of Moses, based his teachings on the obedience of women, the sinfulness of his followers, and the absolute power of himself.  He convinced all the women that they needed to bear his children and did not take kindly to insubordination.  He cut off the arm and removed the teeth of one of his “wives”, and castrated one of the men.  He killed his legal wife by disembowelment, which is what eventually landed him a hefty sentence on a murder conviction.  But even after that, some of the other wives went on conjugal visits and bore him three more children… What?  I was in my 20’s once and remember the trials and tribulations of relationships and sex.  This guy is cutting off arms and pulling out teeth and he has women lined up wanting nothing more than to bear his children.  I’m in the wrong business.   


From the post: You get an A+ for originality  

Where has Daddy been taking you?  


I wonder if this was turned in by Pacman Jones’ kid.  Either way, he’s got a good head start to douchebaggery.  


From the post: 2012 is probably going to be less destructive than Y2K (read: nothing will happen)  

The Sumerians said so  


Doomsdayers say:  The Sumerians were the first great civilization and made several accurate predictions, including the existence of Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.  So their claim that the planet Nibiru is going to collide with the earth in 2012 must be true.  

Scientists say:  The claims that the Sumerians predicted a planetary collision isn’t hotly debated.  In fact, it’s not debated at all.  One Sumerian researcher came up with this theory and people ran with it.  Every other expert on Sumerian culture disagrees.  They did not know about Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.  They also thought the sun rotated around the earth.  

I say: If we still listened to the Sumerians, you wouldn’t be reading this.  You would be too busy sacrificing children.  


From the Post: WTF? Etsy  

Thank you card?  


Price: $3.00  

I suppose this would be a good card to get.  It’s very direct.  And this was a very tame card compared to some of the others that this girl sells.    You can check them out here. (NSFW)  Maybe there’s one that can apply to you.  


From the post: It’s like they think they can print their own money.  Oh wait, they can.  

The infamous “Bridge to Nowhere” (2006)  

This is an earmark that garnered a lot of attention, as it should.  The bill called for the $398 million Gravina Island bridge to replace a ferry that would connect the mainland to the Alaskan island with a bursting town of…  50 people.  Yes, you read that right.  I understand the need for the Golden Gate and Brooklyn Bridges, but not this one.  In 2005, Congress received so much grief on this one that they removed it from legislation. 

Isn't nowhere everywhere in Alaska?

 The story doesn’t end there.  After winning the governor’s race, Sarah Palin said she would pledge to responsible spending.  She then spent $25 million in government money to build the Gravina Island Highway that would connect to where the bridge would be.  Now mind you, this was after the bridge idea was scrapped.  So they built this highway that simply ends at the coastline.     

Actual picture of the road. Look it up.

 Why would they spend that much on a useless road you ask?  Because if they didn’t spend the money, they would have return the money to the federal government.  It’s a perfectly good excuse to fund a useless project, right?  I’m in the wrong industry. 


So here we are.  Six months and 100 posts later.  It’s been fun, and I’ll keep writing posts as long as I can still come up with good ideas.  Again, thank you all for you support.  Now, let’s see what else I can think of… 

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Laura permalink
    March 31, 2010 9:31 am

    How excellent your blog is!! Great job!

  2. jobana permalink
    March 31, 2010 11:46 am

    Congrats! U always make my his and I laugh and think! Keep up the good work!

  3. Mark McHugh permalink
    March 31, 2010 5:33 pm

    Laughter is the best medicine. I always look forward to seeing what’s been running through that head of yours.

    Isn’t it funny (or maddening) how certain posts catch on more than others? You sweat blood to write something new, and old posts you’re totally sick of are still getting more hits.

    Bet you thought 100,000 views would have gotten a lot more comments, huh?

    Keep up the good work and thanks for the laughs

  4. Gauldar permalink
    April 1, 2010 8:56 am

    Grats on another good year!

  5. April 2, 2010 3:29 am

    Nice work, keep up the humoristic touch :o)

  6. April 30, 2012 5:31 am

    I love your blog and have become a subscriber!
    After I read that you have earned nothing from it, I eagerly looked for an advert to click so that you could earn your first penny… but, where are they??
    Have a penny on me anyway. Thanks

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