Call it in the air (4 historically significant decisions made by the flip of a coin)

The coin toss.  It’s a 50/50 chance.  Heads or tails.  They just did it in the Super Bowl to see who receives the opening kickoff.  They then spent more time explaining which side was heads and which side was tails than they did flipping the coin.  It seems to me it would have been much less complicated if they had just used a quarter.  Anyhow, the legal tender of any country can be doubly used as a decision maker for the more important parts of your life.  Which movie to see?  Flip a coin.  Beef or chicken?  Flip a coin.   Budweiser or Bass Ale?  Forget the coin, Budweiser is awful.  Scary latin hitman trying to decide whether or not to kill somebody?  You know the drill.

Recently, Private Practice star Kate Walsh and her ex-husband tossed a coin to see who got to pick first when it came to dividing up their assets.  Who needs lawyers?  Big decisions have come down to heads or tails several times in the past.  Many of the results changed a little bit of history.  Here are the more notable occasions.

The day the music died

In February 1959, there was a major concert tour consisting of Richie Valens, Buddy Holly,  and J.P. Richardson, also known as “The Big Bopper”.   They were preparing to travel to the next site after they finished a show at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa.  (I don’t know why it was called the Surf Ballroom.  There aren’t too many good sets rolling up on the beaches of Iowa. But I digress…)   Buddy Holly had chartered a plane out of Fargo, North Dakota to fly his band out after one of the buses broke down.  Richardson managed to get on the plane after pleading with Buddy Holly’s guitarist (Waylon Jennings) for his seat.  Holly’s other band member flipped a coin with Richie Valens to see who got the other seat.  Valens won.

The plane, taking off in a blinding snowstorm, crashed into a cornfield instantly killing Holly, Richardson, Valens, and the 21-year-old pilot.  It became known as the day the music died.

Green living or green beer?

In the Pacific northwest, there was a lot of land to decide what to do with.  Francis Pettygrove and Asa Lovejoy shared the deed on a 640 acre parcel that they foresaw as being a great place where people would want to live.  The only thing they disagreed on was the name.  Lovejoy wanted to name the plot after his hometown of Boston, Massachusetts, while Pettygrove was insistent on naming it after his roots in Portland, Maine.  After much discussion, they flipped a coin for it.

Today is a good day (my fellow February 5th-ians)

Today is my birthday.  I don’t know how I feel about that.  I’m 36 now.  Does that mean I’m in my late 30’s?  Am I ripe for a mid-life crisis?  I don’t really want to go out and buy a small convertible, so maybe not.  I decided to look up people who share the same birthday with me, and list is quite distinguished.   

Hank Aaron

Sure, Barry Bonds broke his all time home run record.  But it was Barry Bonds.  Who cares?

Christopher Guest

One of my all time favorites.  The Princess Bride is in my all time top 5, This is Spinal Tap was awesome, and Waiting for Guffman was the best of his recent stuff . 

Dōmo arigatō misutā Robotto (7 strange robots among us)

At the recent Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, a man unveiled a lifelike female robot. The robot is, well, very anatomically correct. Her name is Roxxxy, and her inventor says “She doesn’t vacuum or cook, but she does almost everything else”.   Basically, for $7,000 you can have your very own sex robot.  If you want, you can read about all it does here.  I understand that there are a lot of lonely men out there, but this is ridiculous. Are we really becoming so socially inept that we need artificial women to pleasure us? I don’t care if her silicone skin stays warm, she has voice recognition software, and even has orgasms, I just can’t imagine that it’s anywhere close to the real thing.  It seems like you would need a little bit of necrophilia in you to enjoy sexual relations with this:  

He finally found something who makes him happy

I guess it was inevitable. There are robots that are built to do all sorts of things. (i.e. the Roomba)  Here are a few of the stranger ones.  

Robot camel jockey  

Camel racing has been around in the Middle East for thousands of years.  Only recently did people start to question the fact that boys as young as four were almost exclusively used as the jockeys for these races.  Since the slave jockey trade is not a big business in the area, a Qatar man developed a robot to guide the camels through the course.  

Who says technology has gone too far?

Despite being a little spooked at first, the camels seem to be OK with their aluminum riders.  They are controlled via a radio controlled unit operated by someone in an SUV following the race.   

Push the talking trash can  

Disney is always coming up with unique ideas, such as charging $72 for an entry ticket.  (Unbelievable.  But if people keep paying it, they’ll keep charging it.)  One thing they have at their p[arks in California and Florida is Push.  It's a trash can controlled by a couple Disney employees that rolls around and interacts with customers, doing things like encouraging them to recycle.  

I wonder how they came up with the name?

I don’t know about you, but I would be pretty upset if I just vastly overpaid to get into a theme park and then get welcomed by a trash can.  Talk about adding insult to injury!  

The Trons  

The Trons are a a band of robots created by a man in New Zealand.  He even gave them names.  Ham plays rhythm guitar and sings, Wiggy plays lead guitar, Swamp is on the drums, and Fifi plays the keyboard after a failed attempt at bass guitar.  

  

Say what you want, they’re still better than Coldplay. 

And the award goes to… oh, who cares, nobody’s watching anyways (awards shows we could do without)

So Beyonce and Taylor Swift cleaned up at the Grammys.  Are there really that many people who care anymore?  I’m not sure what it means about an awards show when I see more advertisements for programming critiquing the various fashion choices than I see for the show itself.  

And for some reason, they listen to this guy

I just don’t understand why there are so many awards shows.  I recently saw a recap of the SAG awards and it made me wonder what constitutes justifiable homicide.  The show is basically a bunch of rich, famous, shallow people telling each other how wonderful they are.  I don’t mind that they’re rich and famous and all that, but do they really need to televise them gloating in it?  It’s time to pare down the awards shows.  Their popularity peaked in the mid 90’s and rating have constantly been dropping ever since, so maybe they’ll start dropping on their own.  Hell, the Golden Globes were cancelled last year because of the writer’s strike.  I don’t think anybody really noticed.  Here are a few more awards shows that need to be Kevorkian-ized.  

    

MTV Video Music Awards  

  

Most ridiculous category: Quadruple threat award  

The most obvious reason for this one is the fact that the show gives awards for music videos, an art that the network essentially kicked to the curb years ago.  I can’t remember the last time I flipped by MTV and they were actually playing videos.  On top of that, the show has basically become an energy sucking bore.   

The only reason I even knew the show aired last year

It’s like they want to see how many lights they can cram into a building while thinking up an obviously scripted prank to pull on Eminem. (Which they inevitably will neither confirm or deny initially in hopes that it builds buzz for the show)  If you have to do stuff like that to get people to watch a show, it’s no longer working.  

    

MTV Movie Awards  

  

Most ridiculous category: Best sandwich (I’m serious.  Look it up.)  

Yes, MTV is doubled up here.  The movie awards were kind of a joke from the beginning.  I appreciate their early admittance of this with some of the crazy categories, but the joke has worn very thin.  

Amazingly, never nominated for best Kiss

I really don’t care what movie spoof MTV thinks is the best of the year, since they all pretty much suck at this point in time.  Is there anyone you know who would admit to seeing Meet The Spartans in the theater?

Unfortunately, there’s probably an app for that (useless iPhone applications)

The earthquake in Haiti was devastating. So many people killed and injured. There are inspiring stories coming out of it, like the woman pulled out of the church after five days. Then there was the documentarian stuck in the rubble for three days. It’s amazing he survived. He told officials that he was able to hold on because “I had my iPhone with me and I had a medical app on there, so I was able to look up treatment of excessive bleeding and compound fracture”.

It’s good that there are things for keeping people alive, but with untold thousands of choices there’s bound to be ridiculous options. Here are just a few of the more useless applications available.

Bubble wrap

Sure, everyone loves popping bubble wrap, right? I do. But I think most of it has to do with the fact that it’s actually bubble wrap. This app brings a virtual bubble wrap on your screen and you pop it (with the bubble wrap popping noise) by touching the circles. Maybe it’s just me, but wasn’t the whole fun of it squeezing the bubbles and the feel and sound of it?

Sim stapler

It’s a stapler on your screen.  You can staple virtual things together with your virtual stapler.  Enough said.

Look what I found! (5 treasures found among trash)

A few weeks ago, a reverend at a Catholic university was looking for paper towels in a bathroom cabinet.  He didn’t find any towels, but what he did find will buy plenty extra.  He pulled out a frame with an etching in it.  He liked how it looked and put in on his wall.  Turns out, the etching is a Rembrandt and it could be worth about $100,000.  That’s not bad, but there are other valuable things found by people not looking for them. 

Fix a hole in the wall DIY style

A man in Indiana stopped at a yard sale on his way home one day.  He bought a couple items of furniture and a painting he thought his wife would like.  The furniture went into the living room and the painting covered a whole in the wall.  A few years later he was playing an art-themed board game called Masterpiece.  He noticed that one of the cards featured a painting much like the one that was being used for home improvement.  He did a little extra research and discovered that the painting was an original by Martin Johnson Heade, a classical American still-life artist..

The painting was bought by a museum for $1.2 million.

Septuagenarian finds something older than she is

A 72-year-old California woman was cleaning out a section of her home when she came across an old baseball card with a team photo of the Cincinnati Red Stockings.  Not knowing what to do with it, she called a friend to help her list it on Ebay for $10.  When the friend came over to help, she convinced the woman to have it looked at by an expert.  Good move.  The expert identified it as a card from 1869 in near perfect condition.

Deciding to forego Ebay, the woman auctioned it off at Sotheby’s for over $75,000.

Forget the hammer!

A British farmer lost a hammer in one of his fields one day.  Rather than going to spend a few bucks to just buy a new one, the man borrowed a metal detector and set out to find his hammer.  Instead, he found

Pretty soon they’re going to start taxing taxes (some of the strangest tax laws on the books)

Being a resident of southern California, I’m used to paying exorbitant taxes for everything.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s the price I pay for more sunny days.  (In a bit of irony, when I was half done with this post I lost power for two hours and internet service for two days because of a massive thunderstorm and couple small tornados.  It also explains the length of time between posts.  But hey, it’s only one day out of 365, so I’ll take it.  OK, back on topic…)  But every year there are more and more taxes added to those I already pay.  All this while we have record budget shortfalls and furlough days for state employees.  Unfortunately, we’re not the only ones.  The governor of New York recently proposed adding $1 extra tax per pack of cigarettes.    

$20 more than yesterday

The feds and states seem like they’re just going to keep taxing us while spending out the kazoo.  I think California should just legalize marijuana and tax it.  I don’t smoke it, but I don’t really have a problem with it.  Imagine how much tax revenue that would bring in to the state.  Not to mention the relief on prison population.  With each inmate costing the state $50,000 per year, that’s quite a savings.  So there would be more income and less expenses.  Isn’t that how you’re supposed to run a business?  So that’s my suggestion.  Anyhoo, some places have really strange (and inane) taxes on things to try to raise revenue.  Here are some of them.   

Take-out tax   

In Washington D.C., it will cost you more to get your McMuffin from the drive through window than it would if you went inside.  Why?  Because any food that is considered “take-out” is hit with a little extra tax.  The city says that it goes to pay for the extra clean up for the trash thrown out car windows and such.   

Here you go. Now you'll be obese and overtaxed at the same time!

It might not be such a bad idea, though.  If you tax it high enough maybe it will entice people to get out of their cars and walk into the restaurant to help work off a couple of those 1,500 calories they’re about to consume.   

Porn Tax   

Yes, there is a state that adds a 10% tax on anything considered sexually explicit.  I’ll give you a chance to guess which state it is…    

If you take the fur off, is it still taxed?

Ok, times up.  If you said Florida, you’re wrong, but it was a good guess.  It’s Utah.  And the fact that it’s Utah makes me wonder what they consider sexually explicit.  I would hate to pay an extra 10% the next time I buy

Ouch, that hurt! Now give me lots of money (a sample of inane lawsuits)

I live in Orange County and there has been a relatively big story lately about an accident that occurred in one of the local harbors.  The harbors here have several byways in the form of channels lined with docks and homes.  They are all “no-wake” zones and littered with low bridges.  A few months ago, a few morons left a bar, hopped into a speedboat, and proceeded to boat down one of these channels at high speed.  As they went under one of the bridges, the boat made it and the men didn’t.  I believe the accident killed two of them and seriously injured a third.  Now remember, all three men were very intoxicated and committed a felony just by driving the boat.  I usually don’t wish to speak ill of the recently deceased, but this case is Darwinesque.  

"Your honor, my vision was impeded by a can."

 Well, the families of the two men are suing the city for millions of dollars for failure to post a “low bridge” sign.  Unbelievable.  These idiots got drunk, got in a boat, went down a channel well above the posted speed limit, ran into a bridge, and it’s the city’s fault?  The sad thing is, they’ll probably just settle out of court and the families will have a bunch of money to help forget about the deaths of their loved ones.  Pitiful.  It seems to be the American way these days.  We have become such a litigious society that everyone is suing anyone for the most inane reasons.  Here are some of the most ridiculous examples. 

  

So much for truth in advertising 

In 1991, a Michigan man sued the large brewer for false advertising and mental anguish.  Citing a commercial in which two women come to life for a couple of Budweiser drinkers, he was angry that he wasn’t experiencing the same fantasy.  

Even if true, still not enough for me to drink a Budweiser

 Because he’s an idiot and tried to make this happen so often, he also sued for financial loss.  The case was dismissed by the judge. 

  

Maybe he really wanted to be rear-ended 

This one, also in Michigan, involves a 27 year old man who was the victim of a minor car accident.  Several years later, the man sued the person who hit him claiming that the accident changed his sexuality.  

"You idiot! Why don't you watch where you're going? By the way, do you work out?"

 You read that right.  He said that since the accident he was no longer

Depressed about Avatar? Not me! Here are other fictional worlds I would rather live in

There have been reports about people who watched Avatar and became so enamoured with the fictitious world of “Pandora” that they are slipping into depression and even having suicidal thoughts.  Why?  Because they want to live there.  I’ll let that sink in for a second… 

The chicks aren't even hot

So why would this happen?  I’ll let one of the people who left a comment on this Avatar Forum thread tell you about it. 

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “ 

Wow.  The only thing I can think of to say to this guy is maybe go ahead and see if that works, because I don’t want you in my world.  Avatar is a movie, period.  Being depressed about an impossibility doesn’t make any sense.  I’m not depressed because I will never win the affection of Sofia Vergara, so get over it!  A lot of the people on the thread mentioned how their detachment from nature was a big part of it.  If that’s the case, than maybe they should read this by Matt over at Country of Cretins.  He pretty much hits it spot on.  Anyways, why choose this movie to want to live in.  There are other movies that had great environments in which to exist.  They were much more fun and there aren’t that many blue lizard-looking people.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 

I don’t remember how old I was when I first saw this movie, but I still love it to this day.  I like it much better than the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp one.  (Spare me the “it’s more like the book” stuff.  I don’t care.  I read the book.  If there’s going to be a chocolate factory, it should be fun and happy.)  Plus, I always wondered what an everlasting gobstopper tasted like. 

Purple velvet is acceptable and the chocolate is safe to drink

There is nothing I would like better that to walk down a path and be surrounded by things essentially made from sugar.  And then there’s the wise oompa-loompas.  They aren’t unionized and do whatever they’re told.  Sign me up. 

Who Framed Roger Rabbit 

Sure, it’s the 40’s.  No internet, no cell phones, no Lakers games.  But there is Jessica Rabbit.  I still watch Looney Tunes whenever I see it on.  How cool would it be to live next to Toon Town and be able to go party with Bugs Bunny and Homer Simpson while picking

Weekend Nothings

It’s the weekend again. (A 3 day-er for some) That means it’s time me to relax for a couple days.   Here are some fun links to hold you over.  Have a wonderful weekend!

• Have you ever wondered what 100 skills everyone should master?  Well, here you go.  I don’t know about mastered, but I’ve done everything except yoga, mending, or given a eulogy.  I’ve definitely made some awesome mix tapes.
• All movies with large followings always have conspiracy theorists.  What if some of those conspiracies were actually true.  Cracked showed us how some of them might actually make the movies better.  What if Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was really all in Cameron’s head?
• Jack Bauer is the man, mostly.  Keifer apparently lost a bet and wore a dress on Letterman.  Chloe would frown on this. (Of course, she always frowns.)
• This is crazy.  The New York Times has an interactive page that lists the top Netflix rentals per major metropolitan zip codes.  The top rental for my zip code was The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  Never saw it.
• Some of the strangest competitive eating records.  I think my body would kick my ass if I tried to eat 1.75  pounds of butter in five minutes.

Reality vs. Virtuality (the worlds are slowly becoming the same)

My friend Mike and I were talking the other day and the topic of paying for nothing came up.  We were discussing the new habit of basically exchanging real money for non-existant things.  So many of these current MMO games have options to pay for virtual objects.  This business went from basically nothing in 2008 to about $6 billion in 2009.  And I thought we were in a global recession.  I don’t get it.  I understand paying to play the game, but paying extra so that you can have better clothes on your imaginary friend?  I don’t think so.  This is just some evidence that the virtual world and the real world are blurring together for some people.  That’s bad.  Trust me, I saw Tron. 

So did this guy

There are many out there who spend more time in an imaginary place than in real life.  It makes me wonder where social skills are going to be in a few years.  One gaming executive said “People are in these worlds to play and socialize.”  That’s all well and good, but what are those same people going to do when they meet each other in real life?  I see a lot of awkward moments in the future.  Here are a few of the more wacky stories of people going a little crazy in an imaginary world. 

$330,000?  What a deal! 

Entropia Universe is on online multi-player game.  It is similar to Second-Life in that it is a virtual reality for the people who want to escape, or for those who can’t find a date.  Anyways, a man recently bought a space station mall in the game for a whopping $330,000.  Yes, in real money.  

For $330k, this could have been yours

From what I have read, he could make some of the money back by taxing visitors to the mall, but probably will never make back his investment.  It’s even got a bar where patrons can buy their fake avatar a fake drink.  Again, with real money.  What I want to know is what happens if the servers totally crash and the space station is lost?  It’s not like he has a deed to the property.  It makes me wonder if you can buy insurance on something like that.  By the way, the guy’s game name who bought the station was Buzz “Erik” Lightyear.  Priceless. 

Here are some other things bought on Entropia and the real money price paid for them: 

• An asteroid space resort for $100,000
• An island for $26,500 (Recouped in under a year by selling it off in virtual parcels.  Amazing.)
• A virtual Entropia banking license for $95,000

Man takes virtual wife 

In one of the saddest story of a lonliness, a Japanese man recently said

Everyone needs someone to stand by them

This guy went all over the world and got street performers to perform various parts of “Stand By Me”.  An interesting take on what I consider to be one of the greatest songs ever.

WTF Amazon? (Part II)

I’m not feeling so good today so I needed an easy post without too much research.  I decided to do a follow-up to my Amazon.com post from a couple months ago.  And why not?  There’s certainly plenty of material.  I need to do another Etsy post as well.  That one was fun.  Anyways, away we go…

 

Shipping Semen?  How To Have a Successful Experience

No, I’m not shipping semen.  But if I did, this would definitely be my first purchase.  It has all the ins and outs when the need to use the postal service to send your troops into enemy territory.  One of the reviewers to this products stated “I’ve been trying to to conceive with a mare for years, but it just hasn’t been working.”   Sounds like you’re going to need more than a book to help you out, buddy.

 

The Avenging Unicorn

In my first Amazon post, I profiled the Avenging Narwahl.  I’m not sure which is better.  The product description did furnish me with some new unicorn knowledge.  Apparently, unicorns

Where do I sign up? (some of the craziest cult leaders you’ve probably never heard of)

A lawsuit was filed recently in Arizona against a business called Dahn Yoga.  It is alleged that the owner of the studios, and man by the name of Ilchi Lee, has been running a cult.  Former employees and members say that recruits “are unknowingly subjected to an intensive program of psychological manipulation, indoctrination and various techniques of coercive thought reform designed to induce them to become Ilchi Lee’s disciples and devote themselves to serving him and his ‘vision.’ “ 

His vision includes your money

Whatever.  I say if you got yourself into it, it’s your fault.  I also think that the title of cult leader is a cushy job.  You get to make everyone do things for you, they give you all your money, you get to have sex with anyone you want.   Not only that, they’ll believe anything you say.  Tell them the earth is square.  Sure!  Tell them they need to kill every person they see making a lane change without signaling.  Done deal!   Why would anyone not take that job.  Hell, you could make your underlings do anything you asked them to, no matter how wacky.  They would totally do it, and have your back on any issue.  Of course, that could backfire if you get bored and want to leave the cult because they will also hunt you down and kill you.  Take the following as examples: 

Lord of our Righteousness Church 

In 1987, a Seventh-Day Adventist preacher by the name of Wayne Bent got a message from God while sitting on his couch.  “You are the Messiah” God said.  Wayne must have replied “sounds good to me” and decided to start his own church.  Originally located in New Mexico, his church eventually moved to Idaho and hilarity ensued.  The cult, now about 100 members strong, operated relatively quietly for about 15 years until a British journalist did a piece on them.  Wayne, now calling himself Michael Travesser, decided that October 31, 2007 was a good day for the world to end and proceeded to relay that information to his congregation.  There were stings attached, however, as he also told the congregation that God also told him that he needed to sleep with seven virgins before that happened.  

"That was easy. Maybe I should have said ten virgins."

Cult members offered up their daughters and Travesser obliged them by making sure God’s work was done.  October 31 came and went.  When the world continued to function, some cult members

Bedtime stories gone awry (really weird children’s books)

I can still remember my favorite books that I read when I was a child.  Cars and Trucks and Things That Go was my all time favorite.  Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Encyclopedia Brown, and Where the Sidewalk Ends were right up there as well. It’s a different generation now.  It seems to me that people want kids to grow up a lot faster than before.  Some of the children’s books out there now are downright weird.  I personally believe that a lot of these subjects should be taught through life experience and not necessarily in a book, but whatever.  I’m not technically licensed to practice psychology, so it doesn’t matter.

 

I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

Price: $6.99

I guess alcoholism is worse than I thought in this country.  I don’t know how many books a publisher has to sell to break even, but it has to be quite a few.  Here’s the thing though: isn’t the hardest thing for an alcoholic to do is admit that they’re an alcoholic?  If that’s the case, they wouldn’t buy this book because they would be saying “I don’t have a problem”.  I would think that this would need to come in a package with a book about how to tell if you’re an alcoholic.  Anyways, this book does have some interesting lines in it.  Like this one:

“For Christmas, Daddy made me a sled. He brought it to my room on Christmas Eve. I knew it was only Daddy in a Santa Suit because he bumped into my bed twice and spilled beer on the rug.”

  Dumb Daddy!  If he’s going to walk around spilling on rugs, he needs to switch to vodka so that there is no odor. 

 

The House That Crack Built

Price: $6.95

I remember reading The House That Jack Built.  I loved it. This book takes that same rhyming style and turns it into a ghetto-fabulous tale of the dangers of crack, from start to finish.  It begins with the exploited South American workers in the coca fields and goes all the way to the streets of the inner city.

“This is the street of a town in pain, this is the girl who is killing her brain”

I know, crack puts towns in pain and kills brains, but it builds houses like this:

If this book teaches anything, it’s that selling crack can buy you a sweet mansion.