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Depressed about Avatar? Not me! Here are other fictional worlds I would rather live in

January 18, 2010

There have been reports about people who watched Avatar and became so enamoured with the fictitious world of “Pandora” that they are slipping into depression and even having suicidal thoughts.  Why?  Because they want to live there.  I’ll let that sink in for a second… 

The chicks aren't even hot

So why would this happen?  I’ll let one of the people who left a comment on this Avatar Forum thread tell you about it. 

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ ” 

Wow.  The only thing I can think of to say to this guy is maybe go ahead and see if that works, because I don’t want you in my world.  Avatar is a movie, period.  Being depressed about an impossibility doesn’t make any sense.  I’m not depressed because I will never win the affection of Sofia Vergara, so get over it!  A lot of the people on the thread mentioned how their detachment from nature was a big part of it.  If that’s the case, than maybe they should read this by Matt over at Country of Cretins.  He pretty much hits it spot on.  Anyways, why choose this movie to want to live in.  There are other movies that had great environments in which to exist.  They were much more fun and there aren’t that many blue lizard-looking people.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 

I don’t remember how old I was when I first saw this movie, but I still love it to this day.  I like it much better than the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp one.  (Spare me the “it’s more like the book” stuff.  I don’t care.  I read the book.  If there’s going to be a chocolate factory, it should be fun and happy.)  Plus, I always wondered what an everlasting gobstopper tasted like. 

Purple velvet is acceptable and the chocolate is safe to drink

There is nothing I would like better that to walk down a path and be surrounded by things essentially made from sugar.  And then there’s the wise oompa-loompas.  They aren’t unionized and do whatever they’re told.  Sign me up. 

Who Framed Roger Rabbit 

Sure, it’s the 40’s.  No internet, no cell phones, no Lakers games.  But there is Jessica Rabbit.  I still watch Looney Tunes whenever I see it on.  How cool would it be to live next to Toon Town and be able to go party with Bugs Bunny and Homer Simpson while picking up a show at the theater.  (Assuming that Jessica Rabbit has Kathleen Turner’s sexy voice from the 80’s and not her newer, I’ve-smoked-three-packs-a-day-for-the-last-30-years voice)  I think it would be awesome.  I’d just have to woo her away from that damn rabbit. 

What's he got that I don't?

And the Toons are always so happy.  Remember the shoes?  Or the band that broke out of the box? You could even contribute to the delinquency of Beavis and Butthead.  And don’t forget the secret “shave and a haircut” knock.  I could have fun with that for days.

Last Action Hero 

What better world is there than a movie inside of a movie?  If your a good guy (which I would consider myself) you can get shot at any time and it’s always a flesh would.  And you always get the bad guy while partnered with Whiskers the cat detective. 

It doesn't even hurt

But life doesn’t end when you clock out.  I love Netflix, but I would gladly start renting videos again if all the people that worked minimum wage jobs (like the video store in the movie) were beautiful women.  Everywhere they went in that movie there were beautiful people.  Think of how different WalMart would be.  At least there wouldn’t be the obesity problem that we hear about all the time. 

The NeverEnding Story 

Two words: Luck Dragon.  How cool would it be to have Falkor take you anywhere you want to go.  

Next stop: Awesome

Fantasia would be cool.  There’s the rock guy, the racing snail, and of course Atreyu. (The kid, not the dumb band) The Nothing is already taken care of, the princess has a name, Atreyu’s horse is ressurected, so all is well here.  And I could use Falkor to chase down all the bullies from my school days.  Karma’s a bitch.

OK, I’m done.  But let me say this:  We live in reality and it’s mostly what you make of it.  If you’re depressed about your surroundings, then do something about it.  Take a hike or find a hobby.  If you sit and get depressed about the fact that you don’t live in James Cameron’s imagination, then you have bigger problems.  I would go talk to somebody about it.  Or maybe watch something that doesn’t include wars occurring on your dreamscape.  Also, if you have any ideas about other fantasy worlds that should be included here, please let me know in the comments.  Maybe I’ll do a follow up.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Mark McHugh permalink
    January 18, 2010 3:45 pm

    I’d like to live in the cop-show world, where crimes actually get solved and law enforcement officials are pre-occupied with justice.

    • January 18, 2010 7:15 pm

      Good point. Also Grissom is always on standby with a witty comment.

  2. Gavin permalink
    January 18, 2010 9:18 pm

    What about Cool World?

  3. jobana permalink
    January 19, 2010 1:51 pm

    I’ve always wanted to live in the willy wonka chocolate factory world. My ultimate dream!

  4. January 19, 2010 7:12 pm

    This article is made of win and truth. What if I said I’d like to live in Westworld?

  5. Joey permalink
    January 20, 2010 3:15 am

    i think your post is arrogant, to an unbelievable extent. yes, avatar is just a movie and contemplating suicide over it is ridiculous. And i concede that while none of these worlds are tangible beyond our dreams, at least the concept of Pandora holds some deeper meaning than a chocolate factory. i think people’s depression stems from the sad history of mankind and a desire to start over or be apart of a more spiritual and unified society. your attempt to undercut these people’s depression without making an attempt to understand it only fuels the sadness/anger of those who were touched by the movie. i hope you find your chocolate factory. the rest of us will work on improving our world and humanity itself here. and don’t fret. without the arrogance provided by people like you, the process will move much quicker.

    “Ufalme wako ufike utakalo
    Lifanyike duniani kama mbinguni.”

    • January 20, 2010 7:09 am

      How does Pandora hold a deeper meaning than a chocolate factory? They’re both movies. Well, I guess you have your opinion and I have mine. We’ll have to agree to disagree.

      And another thing… if people are getting depressed after watching a movie, then there is a much more severe problem somewhere that needs to be addressed.

    • tony permalink
      January 20, 2010 12:00 pm

      Dear Joey,


      Ps–when did you become the spokesman for “the rest of us” anyway?

      I’d much rather live in the chocolate factory with Christian and Charlie than with a bunch of blue, whiny Emo boys, such as yourself

  6. Tyrone permalink
    August 27, 2011 4:33 pm

    Im depressed cuz dat movis fuckin racist. It’s allll about black people. All dem bigass blue niggas walkin around butt naked are all black. All the actOrs of em. Black. All the bitchass army faggots killing the black ppl. White. What da hell kinda movie is that. This some mad white people shit.

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  8. October 28, 2011 1:33 am

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