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You mean I’m supposed to walk?

December 14, 2009
tags: , ,

So there’s stuff everywhere about the rise of obesity in America.  The reasons are obvious.  Video games, TV, and the like have seriously cut down on the physical activities of America in general.  But those are small problems.  A lot of Americans are just plain lazy.  I see signs of it every time I go to the grocery store.  Some moron will sit in his or her car and wait for someone to pull out of their parking space when there is a completely open space (or ten) 30 feet further up the lot.  But that would mean walking an extra 30 feet.  It’s enough for me to declare justifiable homicide.  

Yeah, full of lazy morons

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  If you’ve seen Wall-E, then you know what the future has in store.  I don’t think it’s that implausible.  Not to mention all these drugs you see advertised for you to lose weight with “minimal effort”.  Listen people, you have to work for it.  Plain and simple.  Anyway, here are several Americans totally caught in their attempt to do as little work as possible. 

I’m going to take the escalator


I guarantee that if you stood by this contraption for a while, there would be more people who get on this ridiculous escalator than take the stairs by a margin of 3 to 1.  Pathetic.  In fact, it would probably look something like this… 


 I see this scene every time I go to the stadium for a game.  People will wait two minutes to get on an crammed escalator when it would take them half the time to walk up the empty ramp. 


It’s good enough for government work


It probably took more energy to figure out how to paint around the stick than it would have if they would have simply moved the stick.  These are your tax dollars at work.  And don’t forget about the totally hard-working, non-lazy U.S. Postal Service. 


Seriously dude?  You would have had to take two whole steps.  


Well, at least they’re outside


I don’t even know where to go with this one.  I guess I could say that not only are they being lazy, but they’re doubling their carbon footprint.  Of course, if I told these two that they needed to be more green, they would  paint each other and call it a day. 


Wouldn’t this be easier with a Baby Björn?


This just doesn’t look like it’s safe for the baby.  This is pretty bad, but it’s only the second worst example of laziness I could find.  It gets worse, because the winner is… 


I bet they don’t even pick up the poop


Good Lord.  This person needs to seriously consider switching to a cat.  They would save a bunch of gas money if they just bought a treadmill and threw the dog on it.  Hell, they even make treadmills especially for dogs.  You think I’m joking?

Not a joke. Well, kind of a joke.


C’mon people!  It really doesn’t take that much energy to walk.  You’ve been doing it your whole life.  OK, I think I’m done now.  But not really, because tomorrow my rant will center on another peeve of mine concerning the general public.  What can I say?  I’m opinionated.  Sue me.

One Comment leave one →
  1. tony permalink
    December 14, 2009 9:03 pm


    Ha! Regarding the mailman–I had that EXACT situation happening to me at my house because I live on a busy street where lots of cars park blocking the mailbox. I would get letters from the post office saying that they were going to stop delivering mail if they couldn’t access the box. However, I just couldn’t find the time to sit on the curb and shoo away any and all would-be parkers 24/7 (I know–I’m lazy.) So, my biotch mail lady would just drive up the curb into my lawn to avoid having to get up off her ass in order to fill my box with useless advertising. In the process, she’d constantly smash my sprinkler with her tire. Then my lawn would flood, and I’d get to spend my Saturday morning repairing sprinklers, which I love doing.

    I considered putting a bunch of nails in the grass where she drove, but there are lots of kids in my neighborhood, and I also didn’t think that her breaking my sprinkler would justify me possibly killing her when that high-performance mail vehicle got up to its top speed of 38 mph, had a blow out, and sent everyone’s mail along with the mail lady sprawling across Imperial Highway (still, the thought is not without its comedic value.)

    In the end, I did nothing. She still delivers my mail, every now and then I have to fix a broken sprinker, and I still win because now I have the satisfaction of knowing that each letter that passes from my mailbox to her hand has a tiny little trace of my farts on it as a special token of my appreciation for her hard work.

    Rain, sleet, or snow, right?

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