If you need to ask… part deux (And this time, I answer the stupid questions)

The Yahoo! answers post I had a couple weeks ago was well received.  So what do you do when that happens?  You make a follow up, of course.  And thanks to the geniuses that post questions there, I have plenty of material.

My answer:  There’s no way around it buddy.  The only way to stop getting that screen is to stop trying to go to your favorite porn site while at work.

 

 

My answer:  That’s definitely a deal breaker.  But what if she did it on purpose?  People have weird fetishes out there.

 

 

My Answer:  What is it with the lack of common sense at Yahoo! answers?  Yeah, there’s a way you can tell if your son is gay:  If he’s having sex with a man, he’s gay.

 

 

My answer:  Take a hammer and smash your thumb.  When you’re done with that, take that same hammer and smash your head.

 

 

My answer:  Because Mother Nature is a mad scientist.  She made holes in cat fur right where the eyes are, and she also made that hole in your head where your brain should be.

 

 

My answer:  Yeah, it’s a homework site…  if your son is studying unusual human reproductive techniques demonstrated by men and women with larger than usual body parts.  You know, so you can see better.

 

 

My answer:  I would say follow the one who separates the sheep from the goats.  Do you know how hard that is without the help of a sheepdog?  It would be a bona fide miracle.

 

 

My answer:  I guess you could go around saying your technically a virgin like Dionne in “Clueless”.  But since you seem to be clueless yourself, just keep calling yourself a have virgin.

 

 

My answer:  Tell your wife that the bed is extremely dirty and it’s going to take the maid all night to clean it.  Oh, and you may need to help her from time to time.

 

 

 My answer:  I’m not even going to dignify this one with a response.  Just make Darwin happy and go step in front of a bus.  And they call this the computer generation.

 

 

My answer:  I weep for the future. 

 

 

My answer:  Well, it’s a good thing you’re a witch because that is the only reason this will work.  First, get to the ocean.  Once there, go under the water for at least 30 minutes.  If you feel like you’re going to drown, don’t worry, that means it’s working.  If you don’t surface and are never seen again… congratulations!  You’re a mermaid.