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Well, at least there’s always laser removal

October 27, 2009

I’ve seen some awful tattoos in my time.  And it’s funny because, without fail, the more idiotic the tattoo the lower the IQ.  (Hey, that rhymes)  I decided to go looking the internet over to find the worst.  This is the awfulness that made the cut.  Just be glad that none of these are your kids.  If they are, I apologize.       Not really.

I’m so awesome that I don’t need to know how to spell

tattooawsome

Oh dear.  I know spelling isn’t everybody’s strong suit, but it should be.  You would think that if you’re getting something as permanent as a tattoo, you would at least look it up in the dictionary to be sure.  There’s really  no way to fix this one.  This guy is going to have to spend the rest of his life explaining why he had never heard of the silent “e”.

Inflation-proof entertainment

tattoorides

Movies are $12, Disneyland is $70, so I get the need for cheap thrills.  But don’t sell yourself short.  I bet you could easily demand $1.38 for this ride.  Have some self-respect and bump the prices.  Oh yeah, it’s permanent.  I forgot.

I drove my house to the race today

tattoonascar

I’m sure Jeff Gordon is a nice guy.  And you probably think he’s cute as a button.  And you spent all that money to have his car tattooed 3 times on your back.  But for God’s sakes, PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!

Chicks are like putty in my hands after they see this

tattoolegs

Dude, the guys in the trailer park might dig this, but do you know the quality of women that would be trashy enough to think this is a turn on?  Oh, you do?  OK, well, good luck with that.

Swayze-taur

tattooswayze

Seek help immediately.

So who’s your bitch this time?

tattooyourbitch

So, 10 years after this mistake you get married.  At that time, when your wife goes down on you, who’s bitch is she?  She can’t be yours, it says so right on your skin.  Yeah right, this guy is never getting married.  Basically he’s implying he’ll never have his own girlfriend, he’ll always have to hope that somebody else’s gets really drunk.

Not my mine 

tattooyourmine

My mine?  I don’t have a mine.  Wait, what?  You’re trying to say you ARE mine.  Riiiiight.  That requires an apostrophe and an “e” dumbass.

That’s a funny looking God

tattoogod

Sorry kid, after this I’m going to have to judge you too.  And the verdict is in.  You’re a moron.

I’ll call your misspelling and raise you a grammatical error

tattoocards

Oh for the love of God.  Did only a fraction of tattoo artists pass English?  Let’s analyze this sentence, “Its not the cards your delt in life its how you play them”.  You know what?  Forget the analysis.  I’m just going to sit in a corner and cry for a while.

Well, at least now we know

tattoounicorn

I knew it!!!  Somebody owes me $20 because I know at some time in my life I made a bet that unicorns piss rainbows.  You know who you are.

What was your name again?

tattookelly

At least nobody will ever have to try to read upside down.  And how does she explain this to her kids in 15 years at the trailer park Christmas party?  It would be difficult explaining that this  was how their father and their uncle learned her name.  It would be even more difficult to explain the possibility that their father might actually be their uncle and their uncle might be their father, depending on who was on what side at the time.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. tony permalink
    October 27, 2009 12:20 pm

    no “Worst. Tattoo. EVER!” list is complete without Mr Cool Ice:

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